24 November 2014




GO TO: http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com.  Sign in when asked (2 different screens) with the password   edji.

If you can't get in, try a different browser. Chrome often demonstrates problems, Explorer fewer problems.

We may talk about Nisargadatta, and we may talk about Neo Advaita.

Who knows?

23 November 2014


GO TO: http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com.  Sign in when asked (2 different screens) with the password   edji.

If you can't get in, try a different browser. Chrome often demonstrates problems.

We may talk about Nisargadatta, and we may talk about Neo Advaita.

Who knows?

22 November 2014

I am So Much More Than I had Ever Dreamed

My teacher used to say everything is Consciousness. But day to day, he said his world was like anyone else's except he knew everything was Consciousness. He rarely talked about bliss, mostly about Peace Beyond Understanding, and he said the self and the world were illusions, there was only Consciousness, self-contained.

On the other hand, recently I was talking to a well-known Kundalini teacher and he said everything was Shakti. And he would not explain further, and explained his progressive states of Samadhis and Bliss. But he didn't talk of Self, or of I, just said for him,everything is Shakti, bliss.

Now I have known for a long time that everything was Consciousness, but I was not a thing. Consciousness appeared to me. I was the Witness.

But 'I' also know the Self. I have no idea of what this I is, except I am it. But it feels and perceives itself as alive, existent, and the knowledge of this identity is overwhelming to me.

This Self I could call my beloved. I cannot describe it, but I see it within as light, energy, and sheer knowledge of Self, knowledge so powerful that is has the sheer density and gravity of the flesh, or a sixth sense, and is extremely powerful. Knowing myself.

I can no longer explain in simple 3 word sentences what is or what I am, as that misses to much.

I cannot say all is Consciousness and have it mean anything to me anymore. Ditto, everything is Shakti or bliss. I know what it is like to be Love, to be Bliss, to be Parabrahman, the Absolute Witness. Nor do I identify with the Void that I dwelled in for over 12 years, an all pervading lighted space that permeated everything. Nor am I just the sense of an energetic presence that pervades my body and the world around me as an intelligent energy.

There is no nuance or discrimination in those states. One is only an observer, the Unborn, prior to Consciousness. Or one is only bliss. Everything is bliss. Everything is love. I know those but they have passed. I still have emotions and sometimes desires arise in me, nut they are small things compared to my constant feeling/seeing of the Self within as witnessed by me, and which is also me.

It appears we are two, but I cannot even say that, for we feel like One. The Absolute Self perceives the Manifest Self of divinity and bliss and is enlivened thereby. The Manifest Self gives the Absolute knower a grounding in life. The Absolute, Shiva, without this Life Force is only a seer, a witness to what Consciousness and the Life Force does, and I am also that.

But you see my path was different from most: First a Zen monk who dwelled for years in the Void, in Emptiness even during a Kundalini awakening that lasted some years. I still mostly identified with emptiness, stillness.

Then I saw that I observed Emptiness. Although it contained all experience, it, itself was perceived by me, and I saw all states of Consciousness. all thoughts, all emotions, merely came and went and did not touch me. I was beyond their touch. This was my realization after being with Robert Adams five or six years, and this is whatI taught.

Then love came to me and His love exploded in me, as me. I was love, and my Beloved was love, and that love awakened and alivened ME. I came alive into the flesh. My Subtle Body lighted up and energies were everywhere, and Bliss! Most of all I had knowledge of who I was: not just a witness beyond Consciousness, but a human who was in constant relationship with my aliveness, with the Life Force, with God, and we were identical. human, Life Force, Self, God, and the Absolute.

This is very nuanced, a very differentiated oneness, knowledge and bliss.

But one thing I do know also is that I can give these experiences and knowledge to others. I can see and feel where they are. I can feel their Life Force and their blockages as well as their level of understanding. But none wants to come too near because this path requires you to burn. It is one of passion, emotional openness, great love, and extraordinary commitment to knowing one's Self.

A student goes deeper and deeper with and finds deepening love and happiness

Edji,, wow this is great....feeling just so in Love with the I AM and having it right here, right now, so close I can feel its breath, just a centimeter away and yet all around and engulfing me at the same time. The astounding thing is feeling this I AM and having the pulsating Love for the I AM just flowing through the Heart Center and then an understanding that this goes even deeper....and deeper.

It goes even deeper and that is where I am going...deeper into the I AM , deeper into me, to the Source of all this.

This blog is the principal source of all donations used to support the wearesentience.com website and all of its free downloads, this teaching blog, the free Sunday online Satsangs at 2PM California time, as well as my work maintaining many feral cat colonies, and home placements. If you have found my posts to be of value to you, please support these teachings and animal work with a donation. Thank you!

Those who advise no spiritual effort, no looking within, do so from fear of what they will find.

Nisargadatta has stated never to take his sayings as generic advice for everyone. Each time he spoke it was for a specific person at a specific state of development. Otherwise how can you keep doing what you are doing, following me around FB and attacking what I say without addressing the Nisargadatta qutes and Ramana quotes I post that talk about the need for inner effort, searching, doggedness of inner self-exploration.

I get from you not a conviction that you just need to be, but a deep fear in you of going inside yourself, and exploring, out of fear of what horror you will find in your own inner exploration.

I;ll bet you have never been in psychotherapy either out of fear of what you will find inside. You are afraid to "poke around in your inner darkness" out of fear of finding deep depression, despair, inner weakeness, etc., and instead attack all inner work as worthless.

Then you have a whole bunch of people that support your passivity and just wait for whatever arises thinking this passivity is the highest truth. In fact, it is a passivity born of terror of what you will find inside.

Many, many, people are like this. They have a fear both of psychotherapy, inner reflection, true self-inquiry. You are one of them.

This blog is the principal support for the wearesentience.com website and its free downloads, this teaching blog, the free Sunday online Satsangs at 2PM California time, as well as Ed's work maintaining many feral cat colonies, and home placements. If you have found these posts to be of value, please support these teachings and animal work with a donation. Thank you!

21 November 2014

Eighth Century Advaita with Commentary by Ramana

From the Mandukya Karika--an Eighth Century Advaita Text:

What is changing must always be unreal. This phenomenal world of names and forms is ever changing. Names and forms are subject to decay and death. Hence they are unreal or impermanent. What is constant or permanent must always be Real. The Atman or the Eternal, all-pervading Self ever exists. It pervades all objects like ether. Even if the pot is broken, the ether that is within and without it cannot be destroyed. Similarly, if the bodies and all other objects perish, the Eternal Self that pervades them cannot be destroyed; It is the living Truth and only Reality.

If your assumption is that you are the Self, then thinking is not a problem, it can come and go as it pleases. However, if you think you are the body, then thinking is the only being, the only thing that keeps you away from the brink of the "terrible abyss" of non-being. When the sense of being an individual is transcended, you will know that you are the Self and that your true nature is Being-consciousness-bliss. Being abides in Itself, consciousness knows itself and bliss reposes in itself. The Self alone is.


Ramana Maharshi teaches that the Self is pure Being, a subjective awareness of "I am" which is completely devoid of the feeling "I am this" or "I am that". There are no subjects nor objects in the Self; there is only an awareness of Being. Because this awareness is conscious it is also known as 'consciousness'. The direct experience of this consciousness is, according to Sri Ramana, a state of unbroken happiness and so the term 'bliss' is used to describe it. These three aspects – being, consciousness and bliss – are experienced as a unitary whole and not as separate attributes of the Self. They are inseparable in the same way that wetness, transparency and liquidity are inseparable properties of water. 

This blog is the principal support for the wearesentience.com website and its free downloads, this teaching blog, the free Sunday online Satsangs at 2PM California time, as well as Ed's work maintaining many feral cat colonies, and home placements. If you have found these posts to be of value, please support these teachings and animal work with a donation. Thank you!

20 November 2014

Steve disspells darkness, Ed gives fair warning.


Edji,  Thank you,  your right on target and this new counselor is working really great.

We did a simple relaxation yesterday and I found that ball of darkness that has been following me since childhood.  Identifying it, giving it a name and moving it out ....then filling in the empty space it left with the  I AM-pure white light which also brought on a vision of my parents telling me as a child, 'don't do that, don't do this' and generally negative responses.

I could see where my parents’ negativity (dad in WWII for 5 years) was actually being mirrored within me. So I always felt that the task at hand was out of my control, was claustrophobic and didn't like entering experiences that I didn't pre-plan for.

This has to digest for a week or two but I feel a light has been turned on inside, any undefined fear has just gone away, I don't care about all the strange sounds anymore and god I just feel deeply  at peace-a rare feeling for me.

It leaves me in very close to a Total Peace Within and now allows me to join and Love the I AM even that much more.

I feel gratitude to my Vietnam experience and all the triggers that brought the whole shitting caboodle right to my plate and much deeper gratitude to you Edji for without your teachings I would have spent this life with that ball of darkness. I thank you my dear fellow.

Love you deeply,  Steve


If you have been followed by a negative ball of energy/emotions for your entire life, it is not likely that it can evaporate in one session.  When it comes back it may initially have a different feel or form, but when it does, this time let it kill you.  In other words, adopt the attitude that it is always there, therefore it is a part of you that you have been rejecting, and admit to yourself you cannot do that anymore.  You need to completely feel and join with that darkness in order to be made whole. 

In other words, you have to be ready in your heart to die from the experience.  Only in that way will you be open enough to really experience that dark ball to see what it is all about, to absorb it, and bring it into you, completing you, and finding the bliss on the other side.

What you have done is applied a band aid to a rupturing aorta; you need surgery that has the “feeling” of the possibility of death by dark ball of negative energy.


Sri Edji,   I think the answer to your past questions regarding limited number of devotees is that they don't want to go through Hell. 

Holy shit, when you say Self-Realization you mean it and don't really beat around the bush. This is one damn path that is just like walking point in the jungle...ya just never know where the next bullet/issue is coming from and whether or not it is going to be fatal.

You are very powerful in this way and when devotees get close to you and your teachings they are put in a position where it seems like life and death. They are faced with the Mirror' and what is in the 'Mirror' is usually something they have been avoiding for lifetimes. But instead of seeing the reflection the blame goes totally on you for being such a so-and-so.

I can see where this path can take lifetimes unless the devotion and desire is Total. It certainty is not a plaything or an escape mechanism as it does not work that way.

Anyway I'll keep eating the dark ball but sometimes I just want to Scream and Scream as the darkness never leaves.....I have a difficult time accepting that it is my own shadow.

Thank you for sticking close to me Edji, Love steve


Even with total desire for Self-Realization and dedication to the task it will take lifetimes.  That has to be your attitude: whatever it takes, for as long as it takes.

The bliss and Self-Knowing is entirely worth the effort, and never ceases to deepen.

If you want instant enlightenment you have to go with the neos who only ask you to look within for five minutes, and then finding nothing there, conclude that there is no Self, and that they are perfect the way they are. Full stop.

But this is delusional.  They have not really “felt” into themselves; they have only looked into their hearts and guts, not felt the I Am sense there, and they will never find it by looking, only through loving.  The Self is only found by loving, loving someone or something else totally, or by loving whatever arises during self-inquiry, through introspection.


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16 November 2014

Loneliness is Primarily Loneliness for Self, for Knowing and Loving and Being Loved by one’s Own Self.

    Strangely though the Self is difficult to find because we are not used to focusing on our Self. We don’t look within, watch and explore. We don’t sit still to feel our own heart beat. We don’t listen to the sounds in our head that are always there. We don’t look into the inner darkness that shrouds ever-flowing internal energies from being seen.

      We do not feel into our heart area to feel the small electric impulses that mark the beginning of feeling of the I Am sensation.
We don’t look into our gut from the inside, or feel from the inside to find the root cauldron of Hara energies. We do not perceive ourselves as a spiritual presence within and without the body, a sort of ghost within the physical mechanism of the body.
     We do not playfully explore our emotions, all of them, with an attitude of excited exploration. Indeed, many run from emotions in fear of anticipated pain. Many run from relationships from fear of being suffocated, or of experience heartbreaking loss and grief. So very, very few really experience the full spectrum of emotion, and as such, have no access to the experience of Subtle Body energies.

     Few have sat still long enough and looked within attentively so that the darkness within melts and gives way to a vast self-illumined Emptiness, the Void, which contains everything, all phenomena.

     So few have gone deeper yet and experienced the bliss of the foundational state known as Turiya, wherein originates the feeling of I Am. Ramana and Nisargadatta both referred to this as realization of the Godhead, the Atman, which deeper experience reveals as identical to God him or herself, and with it the recognition that one’s own Self is complex and deep yet unified: You are God; you are Senience, the ability to sense yourself and the world; you are Knowing of who and what you are; you are bliss; you are Emptiness; you are the energies that flow through your body and also through your Subtle Body, AKA as your sense of Presence.

     All these things you are, far greater than anything you can imagine until you spend years of internal watching with the same intensity as you explore the external world looking for answers to internal questions and for completion and happiness.

     The search for another, a companion, is really usually a search for one’s own self, the illumined soul, in another.

     Some rare beings do find their own soul in another, a lover, a guru, God, a mountain, and gain Self-Realization in that way. We see in the other that which we do not see or feel within ourselves.

     In some we feel they move with the gravity of a planet and are able to plumb the depths of existence by their merest touch. Others are firebrands, whose touch excites the Life Force in us long dormant from boredom with the external world.

     In some we find a deep quiet, an access to the Void and the light of the Void. We “feel” that in their presence and we stay to acquire it. In their presence, it is easier to experience it in ourselves.

    It is because of this understanding I can say that loneliness, or even desperation for companionship, the other, is actually a hidden desperation of finding and knowing our own Self totally, from top to bottom.

     A guru or a lover can certainly help you find your Self, and makes the search so much easier for the beginner unused to inner exploration. But ultimately you need to realize that the want of another is really a want for one’s own complete Self-Experience, Self-Knowing, Self-Realization.          --------------------------------------

This blog is the principal support for the wearesentience.com website and its free downloads, this teaching blog, the free Sunday online Satsangs at 2PM California time, as well as Ed's work maintaining many feral cat colonies, and home placements. If you have found these posts to be of value, please support these teachings and animal work with a donation. Thank you!

14 November 2014

Coming Alive Through the Fullness of Self


Harry Guntrip wrote a world-changing book entitled Schizoid Phenomena, Object Relations, and the Self in 1969 which is the key root book of the British Object Relations School of Psychoanalysis.  What a gift it was to me to read this book in 1980 after 12 years of being a Zen Monk and recently joining Siddha Yoga with Muktananda.

You see, a lot of Zen people are strangely schizoid, ambivalent and afraid of relationships, afraid of being lost in them, disappearing into the other, or being destructive to others due to an inner, unexpressed rage.

Guntrip outlined many of my relationship fears, my shyness, fear of women, fear of intense neediness in myself, being withdrawn, internalized, solipsistic.  Yet this innerness allowed me to fully explore Zen’s Void, the inner space, and with an opening of my Third Eye, finding the Light of Consciousness.

In other words, having a schizoid fixation point, no solid sense of self at all, allowed me to explore the space and entities that lay within and hidden by the false self most other “adjusted” and healthy people have.

About that period of time I became aware that entire cultures were marked by having personality disorder characteristics.  This is something currently regarded as politically incorrect to even state, so you will not find much academic backing for it.  But the ancient Arabic culture could be characterized as pre-self, and as borderline with its impulsiveness, rage, passion fixations, fragmentation in so many ways, easy depression, and so many other clues.  The jewish culture on the other hand could be characterized narcissistic, self-absorbed, feeling better than others, the Chosen People, abusive of other peoples, (and other Jews also.)

Then recently, my own experience of Self-Realization in a classical Ramana and Nisargadatta way through love—an awakened Libidinal Self—cured most of the schizoid remnants and narcissistic remnants in me, and for the first time, I had a solid sense of self, as a human, as the Self, and as the divine all wrapped in one, and with it, a strong desire to help others in any way I could.  The focus was no longer on finding the lost parts of me, the incompleteness, the lack of knowledge of who and what I was, but a worshipping of the Self in others, from insects to humans, and a deep desire to save all from suffering in many, many ways.

The experience of a whole Self, solid Self, that was above and beyond the body, but which also included the embodiment experience, made me whole and in constant communion with the divine within, with sentience and the Life Force.  

No longer concerned with Emptiness, the Void, the Light of Consciousness, the interplay of form and emptiness, I turned instead into being an embodiment of God, of passion, Life, Love, and most importantly, of Knowledge of who and what I was and what I had to do.

I had become alive as I Am as Self, the Atman who is one with Brahman, the Godhead.

It is impossible to express the difference this Self-Realization experience has wrought, except that I know that anyone who speaks of no self, no separate self, no temporal/special Self, does not have a clue as to what real Self-Realization means.  They either have a conceptual understanding about the non-existence of the conceptual selves most believe they have, and thus Emptiness reigns and objects become second class citizens, and even experience is denied any reality because it requires a witnessing self or I to make it real, and without an I, it is unreal, illusory.

These people dwell in a schizoid trap, unable to feel their desire for another in relationship, unlit be passions for life and love.  They become cyphers for Emptiness, unable to relate to others except as narcissistic users and manipulators who obtain embodiment through the adulation of adoring students as they talk their nonsense of no-self, and salvation from the illusion of Self.  They find a new false self through receiving the adulation.

This has driven me to point where I am going to reopen the Object-Relations exploration of Self at all levels, with the intention of discovering how the recovery of a lost Self can lead to a curing of most mental illness and societal dysfunction by making people realize not only a solid sense of Self, but how it is infused by the divine energies, Love, passion, and compassion.

The method I still recommend for this Self-Realization is an awakening of the libidinal self, the passionate lover of others and of one’s own Self, that awakening the Kundalini and other energies within, through loving introspection of one’s inner world, with its emptiness, light, emotions, energies, and other inner experiences, exploring them until the divine Self within reveals itself to you.

Then begins a new journey of living as a divine incarnation, each day gaining a little more energy, power, and knowing of who and what you are.

12 November 2014

A Deeper Truth is Emerging

I understand Christ as never before.

When he speaks about himself he does so from an identification with Self, the I Am at all levels.

In John 14:6 he says:

Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Jesus understood that the realization of Self was the solution of all the world’s problems. Sinners and the ill, especially the mentally ill, as well as all who suffer from grief, despair, and physical suffering, are saved by realizing their own Self, the divine within, the Atman, the Father.

With the Self, the I Am being realized, a man or woman is made complete.  Joy is constantly there at the center of one’s being, as well as total knowing (the Truth) of the divine within, expressed through themselves in the world of mankind.

As the only one that had realized the I Am in himself, and having fully identified with the Self, he can honestly say no man can realize God except through the I Am, which he was: the Life.

When one realizes the Self within, everything changes.  He is elevated above mundane life to a life of joy and direct knowing of God (the Truth), and with a full acceptance of the suffering in the world, knowledge of its roots, and the antidote for all mankind. 

This antidote is not like a Buddhist escape into no-self or Emptiness, but its opposite: a rush to embrace all life including one’s own battered self by going within, finding the I Am by walking with Jesus (The Way).

What good news!  I don’t have to discover everything myself through renunciation, deep and endless meditation, reading books, privations, etc., but I need only walk with Christ; be with him, love him, listen to what he says, feel the presence of God in him, and thereby in myself: your Self.
This understanding leads immediately to a far deeper understanding of another saying of Christ:

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

The light here means so many different things.  When you realize Self, the I Am at total depth, you realize God within, the source of Consciousness, of sentience. This realization is of complete knowingness of your Self and acceptance thereof of where you are at and where you are going in life.  There is a total and certain acceptance of life and what life is providing, along with a resting in the light of God, of the Self.

Secondly, deep within one’s Self experience as awareness, as sentience, is a vast emptiness, a Void, which is filled with light and Presence, which we could call spirit, with which we can identify.  This is the light of life, of sentience, or awareness.

So, your inner world is lighted and you have a sure knowing of your existence in the world, and the unfolding of your life in and through sentience, a partnership with Christ, the I Am, God, which you also are.

Now, anyone who knows this Self, the I Am, and identifies with it as him or herself, is living in God as much as the world, and although he may suffer illness, injury, poverty, etc., the joy within compensates all, for one is more than the meat of the body, but also one’s own spirit, one’s presence, as well as the presence of God within that elevates all.

Each such realized will become a fisher of men, a light of the world, and those who walk with them will themselves always be in light and will realize the light as their own.

Finally, it is the lack of knowing one's self (Self) that is the cause of all man made human suffering, mental illness, war, poverty, much disease, etc., for he who knows himself becomes a servant of mankind as a whole, and a source of compassion, love and good works.

11 November 2014

Comment from Bob:

To Me:

Amazing post! I continue to be so impressed by your total grasp of the pitfalls of buddhism and other similar emptiness based approaches. And your writing is so clear. 

I practiced thervada, mahayana, and vajrayana buddism for too long. Vajrayana is the closest to what you are saying here but in comes with a lot of tibetan cultural baggage, not necessary for practice. I dont think many of the current exponents are fully realized either. 

As part of this practice I had a realization where I became the void, totally vacuous and without any human or feeling of a living entity. It was like deep space, zero warmth, zero gravity, cold and chilling, devoid of humanity or life. It was not a place of life. I realized later it may have been temporary part of the mansion (as you say) but it convinced my heart that this void is not a place I want to reside. It was not the space of sentience as you put it. It was more like Shiva without Shakti. I think the danger is that buddhism can drive you to that place. Unless the realization comes with sat/chit/ananda it could be a trap. The heart sutra reminds me of that place.

I found the heart by inner feeling as you state above. Inner sensing of energies, shakti, kriyas, etc where the byproduct of the inner feeling of the heart. Inner feeling of the heart is like bhakti without an object as the heart can only be the basis or subject. All of which you have stated very clearly.

Ed, I have read and studied Jung, Buddhism, Kashmiri Shaivism, Vedanta, various psychologies to try to understand what "I" was "experiencing". None of these truly captured it all and were just partial understandings or were not well transmitted by existing exponents/teachers. 

I feel you have captured it all for me and I thank you very much for it. You will be getting my donation soon!



Syndria Mecham Wow. Beautifully articulate response. It's wonderful to witness when someone really gets you, Edji. Bob is right there with you. 

Sometimes it takes years of ardent practice that comes up aching and barren, to be ripe enough to recognize the depth of your teaching. 

I hope that more new students, young students have the intuition to come to you early, Edji, and save themselves years of intellectualizing spirituality and losing heart in dryess.

Aspects of Buddhism and Advaita have become so mainstreamed, that the whole spiritual scene seems much more cooled off, mindful, witnessed .... psychologized and contained ... even politically correct.

Edji, you're throwing a lighted match into all this cool correctness. It may start slowly, but I think the heat and light will begin drawing students like moths to a flame. Let us all burn up in the surrender !!!

Ed's Response:

Modern Western spirituality of the last 50 years is notable for its orientalization, and the downplaying of emotions, turning them into just a variety of forms in the field of emptiness, giving them no import.

But emotions are energies that when released are added to the experience of Self.  Self grows through witnessing, then accepting, then immersing, then absorbing those lost energies into our sense of Self--the Manifest Self which is energy, knowing, sentience, and bliss.

The West had a lot to offer with Christianity and Sufism which combines devotion and love with an openness to suffering as a portal to Self.

The other area that the West added is the psychology of Self, with analysts like Klein, Kohut, Frankl, Fairbairne, Winnicott, and my favorite, Harry Guntrip, and lastly a mentor of mine, James Grotstein, who all turned my onto the experience of Self.  Klein and others talked about the development of Self, failures in Self-development, etc.

But they set the stage for a new, Western religion of Self in utter contrast to religions of denial of both the Self and of the world.

A letter to me about deep one-on-one love versus universal love

I am contacting you because I am confused about the nature or purpose of romantic relationships. I am currently in one, and I cannot imagine not being with my partner, who I have been with for years. 

However, based on my perspective, it seems that romantic relationships are innately selfish; love is not love unless it includes all beings, for exclusive love seems to be more of a product of identification with one's perception of another person, and simply extends the identity and strengthens it. 

Moreover, what does it mean to identify with something? How does this identification result? It seems that identification is just a result of intense and/or recurring thought processes; the more intensely and more often you put your attention on another person, the more they will naturally become a part of your identity, in either love or hate, but in different ways. So then, is this whole "falling in love" with another person simply a mental trick? 

I wish to follow my path to truth, and at this point in my relationship, I feel my own sense of self includes my partner as well; she seems just as fundamental to my life as air. 

So, my question is three-fold: How/can one become enlightened in a relationship, and can they remain in it? Is there more to identification than intense and frequent thought processes ( in other words is their more to the mechanics of identification that I do not understand? For as I understand it, love is a result of seeing the truth of things, which is that in reality there is no division. 

Whenever I experience this in meditation, though, I feel love for all being equally because all are one, and this seems in conflict with the philosophy of a relationship… selfless love seems to be almost discouraged by a relationship, for it requires exclusion, and making one person more special than others.) 

I am hoping you can shed some light on this, it has been bugging me like crazy. Thank you, 


You are holding onto some ideas that conflict with your love. Forget all ideas of what enlightenment or love should be. Live just now with your woman, fully, completely. Your heart will open and energies flow through you that turn to bliss and then to self-realization. 

Don't throw this opportunity away by looking a gift-horse in its mouth looking for imperfections. Forget about how love is supposed to be. Stick with the one you have and watch what happens. 

Identification comes with focused attention.  It is not a matter of thinking at all, but of feeling. If you focus on the feeling of love for her, you will BECOME that love feeling.  However, if you focus on her image, your identity will be with her.

Either way youare asking the right question when it comes to trying to understand identification.

If through meditation you discover the great internal Emptiness that contains all subjective experience, and identify with it, then you will no longer identify with your small self and you will then think that Truth is that there is no self.

But if you give up that identification with the inner space, and look deeper within it using your attention, you will begin to see light within that gradually pervades all of the Emptiness.

If instead of looking deeper into the Emptiness, you instead "feel" into that Emptiness, you will find the True I of Ramana, the I Am of Nisargadatta.  Focusing on that will make it grow until a subtle sense of "presence" or energy pervades your emptiness, and you will identify with it more and more.

So, while in love with your woman, instead of just attending to her in thinking, focus instead on your feelings towards her.  Find them, focus on them, let them grow and mature over time.

In this way you can use your love for her to realize your own true Self, the true I of Ramana.

In this way you will realize your 

10 November 2014


This is a discussion of finding and resting in the I Am, and using exposed strong emotions to give you and your sense of Self bliss-energy and power.  Emotions arise out of Bliss, and return to Bliss.

Depression, grief, loss are elevators to the Self as is the I Am. Underneath every strong emotion, negative or positive, lies deep bliss. Under small emotions is joy.

Resist nothing as it arises in your inward going bliss; all is you.

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Three Letters of Joy From Steve and My Long Reply

Three Emails From Steve:

Edji,  I would only tell you this.  No one else. I recently experienced an orgasm and just when the 'good' feeling started I invited the 'I AM' in.   I never felt my body and heart light up like it did. Intensely and all through my body, sooo deep a feeling of pleasure and bliss.  The I AM came right in and turned the whole subtle body on like a Christmas tree. I don't want it to stop.

My meditations are getting so that the I AM is right here in front of me and then it is me.  I am the I AM.  

The bliss just out balances the fear/depression.....I actually look forward to the depression coming in because it means that I'll be 'blissed-out" very soon afterwards.

I am waiting for satsang to start....I have a feeling that you are going to be giving Satsang from inside me, right from the Heart Center.

Love you,  Steve

Sri Edji, I admire how open you are and will try my best to be open to others also.  In my last e mail concerning the orgasm, I said it was private....well it is not private and can be shared.

In Satsang I think you are right that most people will run from the deeper emotions and dark feelings....I always did till your convinced me otherwise.  I hate those feelings but don't try and push them away because as you so eloquently explained, they are the door to realizing the Self.

The Self is right here now and has been the last 2 days....I am waiting for it to digest me and poop me out as a steaming sausage. 

Love you, Steve

Sri Edji,      I guess one could say I am 'dancing with the I AM'.  Such a beautiful morning...I have never been so in Love like this before. 

The  I AM  is everything, totally giving as it surrounded and engulfed me in such feelings of bliss..nothing else is needed.

Almost like being in high school and spotting a girl that really catches your eye and over the months you cross paths with her and one day finally meet her.  Her beauty is even more astounding the closer you get...like a fairy tale made in Heaven.  You hit it off and soon realize that she is falling in Love with you with the same amount of Love that you give her.

That first kiss is electric and the Fire of the Heart blazes forth.

I haven't ever sobbed like this, tears are really salty...Heaven is on Earth. 

God I love life, such a gift. Just as you Edji have been a direct gift from Jesus to me.  We will dance as long as possible.

Thank you Sri Edji, Love

From me:

You know Steve, I am mystified why so few come to our Satsangs with so many people sharing the kinds of experiences you have been having once you really begin to open to emotions and the experiences even the worst of them can bring upon integration of their energy. Besides that there is the energy we share that circulates through our Sangha during Satsang, blissful energies. Yet so few come.

Do people really think that by doing nothing, as the neo-Advaitins advise, just observing all that arises in the present, in Now, in any way can touch the Life Force, love and bliss that you feel by going deep into your sense of Self?

Do people really think that meditation on emptiness or No-Self can lead to happiness and an ecstatic life of deep emotional depths and then profound bliss and understanding, embraced by the God I Am?

Our method is not catching on.  It is not growing by itself.  Magical connections, syncronistic connections are not being made.

I am just astounded.

It was the same with my teacher Robert Adams who had a very different slant than I on emotions, bliss, and the world.

But we shared several things: we wore sweats and T-shirt  to Satsang to be more available to all; we rejected complex spiritual notions and metaphysics and talked in one and two syllable words and 10 word sentences.

We were humble in the sense we recognize everyone else is us.  What I have, they have. Utter equality, but they have not realized yet that they are God—the experience evades them because they have listened to wrong teachings and do not believe in a true Self beneath the false conceptual self.  Once they see through the conceptual self they think they are done and many even beome spiritual teachers without going any deeper.

Oh yes, they begin to deepen over time, but their students are being cheated for they are paying for these teachers’ on-the-job training and really not going anywhere, not experiencing the bliss and ecstasies and love you are experiencing now.  And not looking forward to experiencing pain, a broken heart, depression or fear because as soon as that affect is integrated, the bliss, joy, and complete happiness returns as the emotions’ energies have been added to the Self.

So Steve, what do we do?  How do we bring the good news of emotional openness and love of the I Am to the masses?  How do we make dramatic changes in the hearts of men?  How do we better state the value of love, erotic love, sibling love, parental love,  as a direct conduit to the experience of Self as God?

Why is it that those who have come so close to really getting all of it run away in fear and with anger?  Some come so close, then blow up so to speak.  Their encounter with their own demons that takes place for many in this opening process scares the bejeebers out of them and they run off to more orthodox teachers with lots of rituals, mantras, and practices.

It is all so simple:  Just become completely human. Immerse in your experience of Life, the eroticism, the emotions, suffering, physical pain, loneliness and despair, followed by ecstatic recognition of your own self as Love, as the Divine in the flesh, as fragile yet as having God within.

Is this not the story of Christ?  The suffering of the passion and rebirth into the kingdom of God right here in your own shoes.

Why does no one listen to such obvious truth?


If you have found this video valuable, please donate at the Paypal button on the right side of this blog.

It provides the major funding to support this blog, the wearesentience.com website, Sunday Satsangs, my feral cat work, and my own cats, rent and utilities.