17 September 2014


I have tried to teach in ways never done before by any teacher I have actually been with, by being as honest about myself, other teachers, and sometimes ex students as I can be, within the limits of my own ability to be truthful with myself.

I have met and corresponded with several modern gurus, some of whom receive my highest recommendation, some a moderate recommendation, and a few who I feel may be or are harmful.  Francis Bennett reminded me of my duty is to warn potential students against the latter, while promoting the former.

One teacher who should be warned of is Rajiv Kapur, a former student of mine who coauthored a book with me. Rajiv is a liar, has actively bad mouthed me to others, denied me as his awakening teacher, denied Robert Adams, and has used my Sangha as a springboard to fill his own, and to support others in his own Sangha.

Rajiv even told some of my closest students he believed that some parasite from my cats had invaded my brain causing dementia. This was not said in jest. Rajiv just does not understand or experience emotional openness, interpersonal honesty, nor does he value openness and discussion. He considers such as a mental illness, and that the highest form of practice is silence, which allows him to do many things, and get away with them by hiding behind silence.

Rajiv has inflicted great pain on some of my students, and publicly denied these painful acts and refused to discuss them openly with those students and myself, saying he is taking a position of dignified silence.
He should have said of "Self-protective silence."

Rajiv is a typical Indian guru, calm, composed, and aloof on the surface, but beset by inner emptiness and pain, even while using students to promote his Sangha and become a Hollywood Guru. He hides everything in silence, and as he puts it, is dead inside until a loving student approaches him, and then he finally feels love in himself, which goes away when the student leaves his presence.

My favorite line of Rajiv's is when he told a student of his, who had told me about some of his actions, that by telling me (Ed), "You have cast a dark shadow over our sacred love."

Unlike Ramana, me, or Robert Adams, his grand-teacher, he charges for Skype sessions and online lessons, teaches chakra meditation, and badmouths our lineage, all acts completely at odds with Ramana Maharshi, who he now claims is/was his sole guru and inspiration.

Others related teachers, like Deeya, have my highest respect and greatest love. She is a gentle flower who needs a lot of support, love, and protection, and is not cut out to go the guru route, which she has admitted to many.  Crowds of people overwhelm her.  She likes small groups for intimacy.

I still recommend students to go to Deeya on a quiet, one-on-one basis, or through her Quantum Touch classes. She has the highest integrity and is a magnificent healer, but she does not like the public life, and faded from ours as "Too much pressure!"

More than that, she has the gift of psychic powers and an easy ability to transition to different dimensions and dwell in ecstatic states for days and weeks at a time, a psychic ability of which I am still striving to attain.

I also highly recommend Swami Chetanananda in Portland, who is extremely generous as a human with his teachings, direct healing work, and material things.  However, he never stops moving and newcomers may find him difficult to get close to due to the size of his ashram and Sangha, almost 2,000 people in Portland.  But he is from a lineage of great masters, such as Rudi and Nityananda, and is a practical, down to earth Tantric Guru. I love his presentation in this video of a quatralogue between him, Sw. Shankarabanda, Master Charles =, and Andrew Cohen.

Also I love Shankarananda as a brother and a friend and I am sure he is doing fantastic work for students in Australia.

Francis Bennett is another recommendation because of his humility and depth, and easy accessibility. We have communicated off and on over the past three or four years. He has integrity and clarity, and deals with the emotional aspects of spiritual pain. There are a few others that are popping up here and there, and are not so famous as to be unapproachable.

I also recommend Jan Esmann, but he has a thin skin and often takes credit for things he should not. He refused my offer of friendship on Facebook because three of my former students now are with him, including Waldo, who publishes his books.  Apparently he is afraid of offending Waldo and losing a publisher.

But he thoroughly understands the Emptiness/Bliss apparent dichotomy and can transmit awakening through Shaktipat for those who are ready.

I have one special mention, and that is of Eric Pepin, also in Portland. Many pooh, pooh Eric as a New Age salesman, and he certainly is not shy in that department, with a wide array of DVDs and courses for sale at increasingly expensive prices.

But I read two of his books and like them.  He has a way of restating and reframing spirituality that is incredibly powerful, and offers techniques of meditation to enter the world of energies and dimensional travels.  But his organization, Higher Balance offers much that is free and helpful; however, the size of his organization means you are unlikely to get that close to him.  Nor can I gauge the depth of his teachings, because his books are written basically for beginners and focus on Subtle Body energies, psychic phenomena, and astral travel and getting students to take his classes. I have not seen him touch on the Manifest versus Unmanifest Self, and the mechanism of the origin of Consciousness.

16 September 2014


I started teaching meditation and Zen after several years of Zen practice at four University of California Extensions: UCLA, UCIrvine, UCSD, and UC Santa Barbara from 1975 to 1981.  I also taught meditation and led Zen retreats at the International Buddhist Meditation Center under the Venerable Thich Tien-An during all during the 1970s.  There I studied with many Zen masters, including Sasaki Roshi, Maezumi Roshi, Ven. Song-Ryong Hearn, Kozan Roshi, and Seung Sahn Soen Sa. I was ordained as a Zen monk both by Thich Tien-An and later by Seung Sahn Soen Sa.

For several years during the late 1970s I studied with Dhyan Yogi, a Kundalini grandmaster, who came to the IBMC every year for 4 years in a row, as well as Dr. Ed Wortz, a Zen-Gestalt psychotherapist. I also met the Dalai Lama and Shakya Tenzin, head of the Shakya sect, when both were hosted for long stretches, at the IBMC and Thich Tien-An.

During the 1970s as well as later during the 1990s, I was an instructor at the College of Oriental Studies and later, an officer and spokesperson for the American Buddhist Congress under Dr. Ven. Ratanasara.

As a result of this background, I was invited to go to Seoul Korea by the Chogye Zen order, and was installed as America’s First World Teacher of Chogye Zen  which basically allowed to found a lay order of my own anywhere in the world.

In 1978 I met my fried Swami Shankarananda at his Ashram in Los Angeles, and studied with him and Swami Muktananda from then until 1983 with Muktananda’s successors, Sw.  Nityananda and Chidvilasananda.  I was on the security staff for Muktananda when he was in Los Angeles for 6 months in 1980, and was head of Ashram security and bodyguard for the successors when they were in Los Angeles.

During the 1980s I studied psychotherapy, especially that of the British Object Relations school of Fairbairn, Guntrip and Klein while attending Sierra University, obtaining a Ph.D. in psychology, and began treating patients during 1987.  My dissertation was on spiritual bypassing, the use of meditation and other techniques as ego defenses.

In 1989 I finally met my Guru, Robert Adams, and stayed close by him for 6 years in Los Angeles, and two more years after he moved to Sedona.  Under him I obtained awakening first to the no-boundary experience of unity Consciousness, the experience of the interpenetration of Void and all phenomena, inner and outer, and then the realization that I was beyond even Consciousness itself. I was the observer of it and it did not touch me.

From 1987 until about 2003 I worked as a psychological assistant under many psychotherapists, and finally began teaching all that I had learned after tens of thousands of hours of meditation, study under six Zen Masters, Dhyan Yogi, Muktananda, and psychotherapy on a very applied and personal level in a way few other teachers teach.

In 2010, in a very mysterious process, I awakened to the full experience of Self at Atman, the identity of the universal sentience, or awareness as an energy being, with the source of that energy being the Manifest God, Kali, or Shakti. This was a Tantric Self-Realization of the Manifest Self through love, which is the primary point of my current teachings: How to use love to awaken one’s energies, Shakti, leading to realization of the manifest Self in a rather spectacular experience of energies, light, expanded sense of energetic presence, and the experience of oneself as both absolute Knowledge, Love, and energies.

Few are any of any of the army of 30 year old teachers know of this realm and associated experiences because they do not practice meditation and have not accumulated Joriki, or meditation power.


As part of my teachings, I incorporated as a non-profit during 2011 to support both my teachings, as well as the animal welfare work I do caring for over 300 feral cats in the West San Fernando Valley.  We started strong, starting a project called No Pet Left Behind that was supposed to involve Walmart and others to place cats and kittens into homes.
However, apparently the universe does not want this model of free teachings and animal rescue work all done for free, supported only by donations, at least as performed by me.

Part of it is my destruction at Facebook, where there is little or no respect for experience, training, or really, any sort of subtlety or nuance in teachings.  It is flooded with 20 and 30 year old teachers who may or may not have had some sort of awakening experience, and who have decided to capitalize on their awakening immediately, without further aging, meditation, AND HUMILITY.  This group are instant self-proclaimed experts, and the vast majority are of the No-Self, or no-separate-self school of thought where the only qualification is being able to market themselves through gimmicks, such as carrying a “You are Perfect” sign, or writing books about becoming enlightened by believing you are already enlightened and have nothing to do.

This is the old way, the traditional way of the Eastern traditions. Even my own former student, Rajiv, took the book we wrote together and began teaching almost immediately, and now does not even respond to email queries, but charges for Skype sessions, and online classes.

This understanding is a gross perversions of the teachings of Ramana Mahashi, Nisargadatta, Ranjit, and Robert Adams.  Now everyone is an expert of Facebook, because enlightenment only requires holding onto the concept that there is no Self and nothing to do or obtain.


There is also a realization beyond realization of the energetic, manifest Self, and that is realization of Self as the divine witness, Parabrahman.  Full Self-Realization requires both realization of the Self as the Manifest Self of God incarnated in human form, and of Self as the Absolute, entirely beyond the world, beyond even emptiness and form.

The bottom line is that my work is not being and has not been supported by donations for a couple of years now, so I have to change.  It may be I’ll get off the Internet and FB altogether, and just teach a few students that come join me in Los Angeles.  Or I may move to Arizona where  I can live more cheaply.  Or I may stop teaching altogether.  Or, I may join with another teacher who the universe does support as I tried to do with Deeya, who has a magical presence and attracted huge crowds.  However, Deeya hated the pressure of “performing” before large crowds.  As she said, she is from a small city in Scotland, and has a difficult time with massive public exposure, and simply fell apart under the pressure of fame.

I may be leaving the world of marketplace gurus altogether, and continue to focus on learning how to use energies for real healing, way beyond Reiki and other such.  My gut feeling is that energy healing can really work, but the current systems really don't go deeply enough in terms of understanding of understanding how healing works.  Then I can make a living operating a pet health business selling products, as well as healing sessions.

My recent experiences with my cat Charley, dying from an inoperable squamous cell mandibular cancer has motivated me to look more deeply into systems of energy healing.

I am sorry it has come to this, but the universe has spoken.  It prefers teachers that promise instant enlightenment, no effort, no meditation, no spiritual growth or practices, and who are basically self-help salesmen selling an easy way to self-delusion.

14 September 2014


Go to to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com.

Sign in with the password   "edji"  whenever asked.  Sign in as guest.  Please mute your microphone.

11 September 2014

Dialogue with Jay about Ranjit Maharaj, Parabrahman and the Atman and the Void


I need you to define your use of the word/concept, Void……My experience of inner void is like  the outside of  the body there is space everywhere with object in the space. The space is not  modified by the objects nor can you say the objects are separate from the space…. now Inner Space is the same but more subtle, there is subtle differences in the inner space one containing the seeds of manifestation termed the casual body the more subtler is supacasual body the cause of the causal body which contains Knowledge in the form of Awareness . this is also recognised as the Body of Brahman another name is MahaMaya….This Awareness isn’t ParaBrahman!!

Ed's Response: I agree 100%.  I call this recognition and identification with Turiya or Atman.  Not Parabrahman.  

In any case i am not sure how you are using the word Void……Maybe Void is the Zero that Ranjit pointed at so often in his talks….Many years ago when i used to do allot of sitting meditation there was a time that i would experience a luminous void of swirling vortex energies….for a long time i believed by disappearing into this i would be enlightened and loose completely the sense of self that was believed to be the source of my suffering….of course this was not correct but yet it is a stage that i can only say that I needed to pass through……This was way before i met Ranjit Maharaj…I had no idea about my Self nature, coming from many years of Buddhist training i firmly believed there was no Self, it was a very confusing period…

Ed: I am not familiar with Ranjit.  I did not like his writing style or abstractness.  I like Siddharameshwar and use his terminology.

I call Turiya the manifest Self, versus the Witness, the noumenal, or non-manifest Self.  For me the Void is the inner and out spaciousness that permeates and contains all inner and out experience.  It is still part and parcel of the Manifest Self.

Let me say one more thing before i move on…..Everything seems to replicate itself from the most subtle to the grossest, all appearing similar to the prior but in each replication there is distortion it isn’t the real deal…..So lets say Parabrahman seems to appear to be Replicated to Appear as Brahman…you see they are both a Witness….The difference is Brahman is identified with the apparent creation because it is all Consciousness the very substance of everything and Nothing/ Form/Formless. Now ParABRHAMAN THE ORIGINAL FACELESS FACE ISN’T ATTACHED TO ANYTHING, IS NEVER MODIFIED IS CAUSELESS AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING  CAN EVER BE SAID TO GIVE ANY INDICATION OF OUR ONLY REAL I. I AM NOT IN TIME OR SPACE NOR DO I COME AND GO, UNKNOWABLE AM I….Everthing else is transient and there for not Real…..In a way to be fair I would say everything is real and not real at the same time because I is Real and I is eternal substratum of all form and formless appearance….This is all my Self Knowledge through experience, sure many outside influences came  when needed to shed light call it Grace….Also i agree with Ranjit Maharaj understanding is shared through knowledge using words to point etc…….You may be of a different persuasion, i respect that. I can pretty much read discourse by anyone that is pointing correctly and derive what they are getting at…where when i started out with this so called official seeking it was very unclear, but interesting  what kept the me going this is  the Amazement of Grace…...

Ed: I mostly agree with your characterization. Just because phenomena are temporary, does not mean they are not real.

Also, you are both the Manifest and Unmanifest Self.  You can experience their identification when you have fully experienced both. Parabrahman and Atman are one in my experience.  AND, all four states are permeated by Emptiness.  All phenomena are permeated by the Void, and the Void is filled with objects and experiences, whether of the inner or outer worlds.  

Now you cannot directly experience Parabrahman as an object, but only know of its separate existence when you reside and rest in the Witness; then you "apprehend" that all that you see, hear, taste and touch are not you.

But eventually they all come together: the Manifest Self or Atman, the Causal Body, the Subtle Body, the Physical Body, all permeated by the Void, and YOU, as Parabrahman witnessing the Play of Consciousness.

10 September 2014



You cannot seek the Absolute, you can only Be it. Seek instead the I Am and rest there.

If you pursue and rest in the I Am, you obtain liberation while in bliss. If you pursue the subject, the Witness, it keeps receding more and more into the Void so that eventually you are the Void.

But resting in the I Am, you feel the separat
ion between you and the I Am, allowing you to realize you can only Be the Witness, the Absolute. It is not observable, it is not part of the world. It cannot be caught or possessed. You are not part of this physical/energetic world as the Absolute.

Then, by going back and forth between being the Witness and identifying with the I Am, you gain the final understanding that you are both. As long as the body lasts you are an incarnated divine being joined by awareness with the Witness.


You started nice, you cannot seek the absolute, you can only be it! After you started writing about seeking and you destroyed the beautiful start!


You belong to that large class of people that have the mistaken concept that all you have to do is stop seeking, stop spiritual effort and all will be revealed. That is absolutely not true. This is a concept that traps you in mediocrity. 

Ramana would not agree with that; Nisargadatta and Siddharameshwar would not agree; Robert Adams an I disagree with that; Muktananda, Chetanananda would disagree with that. The six Zen masters I studied with would disagree with that. Buddha would disagree as would all Tibetan Lamas.  Ramaykrishna would disagree with that.  As a matter of fact, I can't think of any great teacher of present or past who would agree that effort is not necessary except the legion of posers on Facebook.

Only lazy and confused people believe as you do, or the tons of Facebook gurus that make a living off people who want to believe that spiritual effort is useless.

09 September 2014


Four years ago I began an experiment in teaching emphasizing introspective exploration of the I Am sense, not with the intent of transcending it and finding the Absolute Witness, but to explore all levels of human or embodied Consciousness. This included a special emphasis on three areas: Love/devotion/and surrender as number 1, exploration of all aspects of Subtle Body energies, and the bliss arising into the Subtle Body from deeper levels within Consciousness, and all aspects of human emotionality that emerge through the introspective process.

Many observers back then were unhappy with my emphasis on physicality and the Manifest Consciousness as opposed to Nisargadatta’s emphasis on the Unmanifest Self, the Witness, the Absolute, Parabrahman.

I responded by showing that in Ramana’s own view, the awakening he pointed to was attaining the experience of Satchitananda, existence/knowledge/bliss, by immersion within the 4th state, Turiya, and then identification with that state as I or Self.

In fact, this is exactly the path Nisargadatta took before becoming a Jnani emphasizing the Witness or Parabrahman. In his earliest work, Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization, he speaks in terms of understanding and experiencing “energies,” then discovering Krishna Consciousness through Loving introspection and devotion to God and Guru, finally dwelling in Krishna Consciousness, divine bliss, Satchitananda.

However, by the end of his life all the bliss and energies seem to have departed, or at least he did not talk about them, and condemned all experience, all phenomena, as being unreal, the only reality being the impersonal observer, the Witness, Parabrahman.

Robert Adams and Ramana both usually refer to the experiences of bliss as a stage reached before attaining the Absolute, and Ramana mixed his own direct experience with Advaidic philosophies and complex series of Samadhis and purification that made his teachings rather complex and self-contradictory.  Robert on the other hand, just emphasized being the impersonal witness and in that state, experienced “peace beyond understanding,” which was also Nisargadatta’s claimed state.

Ed with Deeya, Cofounder of Devotional Advaita
In my experience of over 50 years of reading, meditation practice, and study with focus on attaining the absolute, the Witness, without also exploring the wonder and brilliance of our manifest selves, culminating in the realization of the manifest Self, orAtman, in the state of Turiya, can be a dangerous and dead-end path.

To me, without the wetness of the love, devotion, bliss, and surrender of Turiya, the way to the Absolute can be so dry and barren that depression and loss of motivation to continue can leave one hanging in a barren Void.

Zen avoids the tragedy of Advaita going awry by emphasizing the immediacy of present experience as much as Emptiness and the Void and placing little value on just witnessing once you have discovered the intertwined identity of experiential forms and emptiness.

Unfortunately, Zen has its own dryness because it does not value human emotions, love, devotion, and the experience of bliss, that is, experience of the Manifest Self, the Atman, as having any value except as just another appearance in Consciousness.  In fact, some Zen masters emphasize Emptiness more than the objects of Consciousness, such as our perceived bodies, or the dirt under foot, because Emptiness, by being relatively featureless, does not appear to change.

Indeed, Zen Master Sasaki directly told me to my face that there is no love in Zen. One can spend years reading Zen literature and find rarely any mention of love or emotions other than anger, anxiety, and confusion prior to enlightenment.  The emphasis of Zen is on the duality of form and emptiness, of life and death, and how they fold into each other.

My way has transformed into a method of loving the I Am, finding and immersing in it, allowing it to grow into a powerful sense of energetic presence, along with reading the Nisargadatta Gita and my own Hunting the I, as meditation manuals.  I also emphasize loving others in the world, which can start as a result of a powerful erotic love, or even a deep love and bonding with an animal.  Along with this I emphasize listening to sacred Eastern music and chanting which also energizes one’s sense of presence and can lead to feelings of deep love and of bliss.  Then I emphasize coming to Satsang and feeling the energies and bliss that circulate among us all for the hour and a half it lasts. 

In this way we begin to awaken the Shakti in us in a far more natural way, less effort-full, and more attractive because of the felt energies, bliss, and the infusion of our emotional selves as we become more aware of feelings long repressed or dried up. 

One also learns the key lesson, that just as emptiness underlies all forms, bliss underlies the emotional body level, and, when strong emotions arise, if we can accept them and allow them to permeate our hearts letting them be us for a while, we then come out on the other side to find a deep river of bliss.  One gets fastest to that bliss through the emotions of love and grief or loss; both emotions arise out of a very deep part of who we are as opposed to many other emotions that are more situational and less relational in origin.

The intent is to become so alive to our human existence, to love it and all that arises during immersion into the I Am sensation, to finally a realization of the divine in us as the Manifest Self, Turiya, or the Atman.

Later, if you so choose, you can go further to the realization of the Absolute Witness, the Unmanifest Self, but even then you will still have access to an alive Manifest Self for balance and wetness.

06 September 2014

Thank you Deeya and Charley

Deeya at Robert's Condo--Woodland Hills
Deeya and Charlie have taught me a deeper meaning of service.  It is living in grace and humility. It is living deeper into the Self of All.

I used to wonder and even question Deeya’s emphasis on service to others, whether hospice work and healing both as she did, or caretaking for a friend or relative, or giving a homeless woman a meal, or providing medical care for children in India.  Others even questioned her motives saying a life of service like she provided was just to make herself feel better by knowing she was better off than those she served.  This, of course, was the most cynical comment.

Deeya during her hospice work was always given or just took the role of being the caretaker who spent the last hours and seconds with a dying patient.  She would be holding their hand and looking deep into their eyes as they passed out of this realm into the Emptiness and beyond.  She would feel their Life Force come into her and then pass through.  No one else would accept this role except she.  No one else had the courage or heart.

But Charley is teaching me that deeper meaning of service through direct experience.  Providing hospice care for Charley, watching him bond in love and dependence ever more closely with Kerima and me, caused me to want to devote myself ever more deeply to this brave and hearty lover who just did not want to quit life or stop loving.

Washing him because he cannot preen himself becomes an anointing. Waking in the morning finding his slim body resting against mine brings a deep happiness.  Awareness of the ebbing and flowing of his energies causes a spectrum of emotions to play through my heart, body, and especially my legs and feet as an electric tingling.

Resting in the Void next to him while lying in my recliner, I reach out to find his presence and try to give him that same ease of being.

Every moment he is awake he watches me.  If resting, he raises his head to see if I am looking at him or going somewhere.  If going, he follows me.  Such love we have; two sentient beings entwined in deeper awareness of Self, an awareness so deep it feels like a pool of Pure Life Force, utterly clean and uncontaminated.

Charley and Deeya I thank you from the bottom of my being for showing me the way to such amazing grace: a life of grace by living in service to others.

05 September 2014

Learning how to meditate

You cannot learn how to meditate quickly. It is not possible.  It is a skill which requires watching how YOUR mind acts and reacts to thoughts, memories, images, emptiness, distractions, boredom, and all sorts of external diversions and distractions.

Face it.  For 20, 30, or 40 years your minds have concentrated on external things, like food, shelter, mom, pop, girlfriend, boyfriend, job, or education.  Even then you usually multitasked, doing a chore automatically while thinking of other things.  All this was done in order to obtain some degree of security and knowledge of yourself in action and the world.

In meditation, you turn inwards, where before, whenever you did this, you would only find nothing, darkness, or emptiness.
In fact, the inner world is at least as rich experientially as the external world, but will lead to states of bliss, love, self-acceptance, and self-confidence that you never dreamed of before the age of 30.

There are so many realms to explore inside yourself: the Void; the inner light of Consciousness; subtle body energies; discovering the witness who watches the mind and body; the Self, which is the union of the divine energies within your human existence; and transitional states as you cycle through sleep, dream, and waking states.

What you are learning is the structure and spectrum of your Consciousness with the ultimate end of knowing who and what you are versus who and what the world is and how to function in the world.
You will learn how to identify (or “be”) with the Void, the empty mental space that contains all inner experiences.  This is where you learn that all forms are pervaded by emptiness, and all emptiness is filled with changing forms, allowing you to identify either with the unchanging emptiness (Emptiness is not really unchanging; it is the dynamic origin of everything; it is where the manifest universe touches the UnManifest Godhead.

You will be able to be aware, without being aware of any thing, including emptiness.  You will acquire an ability to see internal energies as living streams of color having different forms.  You will be able to energize your body and psyche, and also let go of existence in order to experience peaceful non-existence.

You may, if you want, gain psychic powers, see auras, become telepathic, do healing of your physical problems and of others’ problems.

You will be able to enage with any spiritual teacher on Facebook or elsewhere, and tell them where they are wrong (JOKE!)
But the absolute keys to success are these:

1 .This is not a sprint, it is a marathon.  Actually, it is a life-long undertaking.  There are continually new deepenings and understandings, as well as the dropping away of the old.  Just as it takes years to master golf, or chess, or gymnastics, so it takes years to discover and master your inner world. Patience is the key.

2.    It takes persistence in terms of regularity of practice and effort.  Do it the same times each day and at least for 25 minutes each time.

3.    Focus on one type of meditation to the exclusion of all else for a long time before changing the method.  It is better to drill one deep hole rather than many shallow wells.

4.    Never drive yourself too hard to attain anything, such as self-realization.  You meditate in order to understand and become that who you are on all levels, and if you struggle to attain some particular understanding or state, you are trying to become someone else’s realization and understanding that you read or heard about.

5.    I recommend one method which is to download Hunting the I and The Nisargadatta Gita from my website http://wearesentience.com.  Use the Gita as a meditation manual on the I Am sensation.  Read a paragraph or two before each meditation.  Ponder the meaning, then meditate for 25 minutes “looking” for the I am sensation.  When you find it, dwell there, love it, and it will grow into a marvelous sense of presence.

6.    There are two ways to explore your inner world: my looking with your inner “eye,” and by exploring your insides by feeling your insides, with a kinesthetic sense of being and touch, and emotionally, through love, acceptance, and identification with all that arises during the meditation process.

7.    Start by feeling for the I Am sensation either in your head or in the Third Eye area behind your physical eyes. The Third Eye meditation usually results in seeing a light that begins to expand.  Sometimes you might feel energies there or even bliss.  If it is first discovered in the thorax, it will likely be like a trickle of electrical energy, which you can focus on.  Love it. Accept it, identify with it and it will grow to eventually pervade all of your Consciousness.

8.    Come to online Satsangs on Sundays, at 2PM California time by going to satsangwithedji.weebly.com, and sign in with the password “edji” whenever asked for a password.  Then share the circulating Shakti energies.
There is something utterly transforming of me and Kerima as a result of Charley’s struggle to remain alive with terminal cancer.  Charley has essentially been starving to death over the past 6 weeks or so due to a large, inoperable tumor in his head that has cost him his left eye, and increasingly his sense of smell.

All three of us are locked in this struggle together, trying to determine when to take him to the vet to die.

We have made seven appointments over the past 4 weeks and cancelled them all because Charley will not allow it.  He is alert, very loving, very affectionate and stays close to us every moment.  We are bonded on a much deeper level now.  It is no longer two humans and a cat; it is about three sentient beings that share a common goal of either curing Charley or knowing when to end his suffering.

We are so close now.  Charley watches both of us whatever move we make, just as we watch him, and attend to his needs.  It is so very humbling.  One day to be thinking about helping all life through spiritual teachings, helping many others through their re-acquaintance with emotions and the Self, then to narrow down to saving one small life—one very precious life.

All other desires have left.  Kerima and I are Charley’s caretakers, mother and father.  I no longer care whether these new teachings of transcendental AND incarnational spirituality through love and loving exploration of the I Am ever catch on.  All three of us focus on one being, one life.

This does not mean I care for my students less.  In fact, I care more, because I have learned to bond with a deeper part of myself.  I am not so much interested in all the Subtle Body energies or alternative realities for the sake of exploration, but only if they can help me help others.  What is the use of the firey energies and Kundalini movements if only for my own pleasure and bliss?  What good are all of these personal extraordinary sensual and ecstatic experiences unless they can be used to help others?
Charley continues to eat.  Again 4 bottles of baby food.   Will there be more positive changes or is this a flash in the pan? Please send your healing energies and prayers.

04 September 2014

Charley Amazes Again

I really do not know what to make of Charley.  We have waited day by day for signs we should have him put to sleep.  Watching him starve for three weeks has been very difficult, as he only drank juices: a little milk, loved salmon juice, and the juices from certain kinds of canned cat food.  But he had eaten nothing solid for over three weeks.  It appeared the tumor was so large that his tongue would not take in any solid food, even baby food.

Then yesterday I tried baby food again.  He had not eaten any for more than three weeks because it caused massive bleeding from the tumor in his mouth.

But yesterday after I gave him Beachnut Chicken and water baby food, he began to wolf it down.  By the time we went to bed last night he had eaten almost 4 bottles of baby food! Four bottles for a total of 280 calories.  This is enough to begin to put on weight again.  There was minimal bleeding.

I have got to say that Charley's well-being has been at the center of my attention, healing work, and silent prayers for over two months now. Many, many, people are sending healing energies and prayers.

A Question About Ego

Dear Sri Edji,    I have been reading your book which directed me to Langford's book. You both kicked my butt.

Is the following true?

Basically everything I do is to avoid loving and feeling the 'I AM'. Thus saying that most everything I do, think and say is the Ego.

So the Ego takes over when I:
Turn on the computer
Post on the computer
Turn on the TV
Engage in Spiritual Discussion
Think about sex
Engage in sex
Read the newspaper
Just 99 percent of my activities, thoughts and actions are just pure EGO.

This is such a alarming awakening.    I Really want Self Realization as much as I want to breathe. I Want Nothing Else.   I spend up to 10-15 hours a day in meditation and waste the rest doing and thinking.
Nisargadatta said the spent the whole day thinking of the 'I AM'.   I thought he was just exaggerating but I realized he was telling the truth.

If this makes any sense to you let me know and I am going the way of Nisargadatta and our Lineage.
I Must , Must , Must have Self Realization and Nothing is going to get in the way.

Love you , S.

Ed’s Response:

S., I see you intellectually wandering.  A week ago you asked me abut the truth of Ramanaji.  Now you are reading Langford setting off your mind again.

There is no such thing as ego.  There is nothing in you that that word points too.  You have distractions based on a lifetime of living, but no ego. Habit! Not ego.  There is no entity to fight or kill, just patterns of behavior.

Do not pursue the I Am with the intent of release, awakening, or enlightenment.  Do it because you love the I Am feeling and your own sense of presence, and the energies of your body, otherwise your goal orientation distracts from the raw experience of loving the I-Am. Then the intensity of the love you feel will triumph over all habits and distractions.  Relax.  Go slow, gently, and lovingly into the I Am sense, love, and the blissful energies of Self.

31 August 2014

Steve's Experience at Satsang Today

Oh God Edji, Satsang today killed me and also sent me into high bliss, what tears.   Your presence and voice were right inside me-oh how powerful. I am you and you are me....the Deep love in your Heart just explodes with our Sanga and also in my Heart Center.    

Edji,   wave after wave after wave after wave.......bliss and tears and healing.

A dome of light formed over our sangha.  Like rain coming down but it was all drops of light coming down....such beauty. Love, Steve

30 August 2014


Edji, I am still working on this idea, but it's big. Many people want spirituality to leave the earth, to fly away, to get away from their pain. We've all done it.

When a teacher like you talks about feelings and depression and going into them, it's a threat.

They're like “no, don't you get it? We come to you so you can help us go to a happy place, far, far away.”

And that's what the majority of the teachers are selling. It's basically spiritual drugs: techniques to go to a happy land.

Of course your methods DO lead to happiness, But its THROUGH feelings, by staying with them, and that leads to the TRUE happiness.

Just transcending everything is a disease. I am convinced. It is a lopsided development. Those seed emotions are going to come back in one form or another, sooner or later.

But what if you stay with depression? Anger? Humiliation? What if you go right into the Heart of them?

I think that's a question you've been asking recently.

This is real development. This is the heart and soul; any takers?

Oh no, they want their drugs... They want to go bye-bye.

Ed's Reply:

Exactly right.  The difference is the I Am.  

Freud said the value of psychoanalysis was to turn neurotic suffering into "ordinary human unhappiness."

But using meditation on the sense of I Am, along with accepting, loving, and identify the arising hidden stuff from the unconsciousness, we are increasingly able to tolerate increasing amounts of emotional suffering, and along with it, an ability to experience the suffering of others.  That is, most of us are walled off from the suffering of others, because if we feel it, we feel it in ourselves.

With increasing empathy towards others comes an equal toleration for anything that arises in us.

Along with this, we find we are dropping more and more out of thinking into feeling and our body's functioning.  We recognize the body is only an instrument, and not us in the deepest sense, but that it has sensors and abilities that could be considered magic: healing, bliss, ecstasies, paranormal powers that exists in those deeper parts of ourselves, the Subtle Body and other bodies, bliss and Self.

Everyday life, socialization, social education, and inertia lock us early into shallow and relatively pointless lives of education, family raising and 45 years of employment/business. 

Then we make the remarkable realization that we are feeling more and more blissful, happy, and joyous by being in the I Am sense, but at the same time we feel sadness, pain, fear, as well as love and compassion ever more deeply, until a time comes when we can experience death and loss far deeper than ever before, and yet feel existentially more balanced and integrated than ever before.  We have become a complete person.  We can even come to the point where we are experiencing great pain and even greater joy simultaneously mixed with bliss so deep we don't want to move.

At this point we are so deep into the experiential that words like "self," "other," "awakening," etc., are meaningless because words and mind cannot touch the exquisite complexity of our experience which we feel through a highly sensitized and tuned heart.

There are many who suffer because their emotions are too strong and they are whipped about by them and failed attempts to control them. The difference is a constant focus on the I Am sensation which leads both to bliss and the various energy states, but also to Self-Realization and then back downwards into grounding oneself in energies, emotions, love, and the body through continuing meditation on the I Am, and loving all that arises.

Of course listening to sacred music also awakens the heart as well as helping others.  If you read make sure you read Nisargadatta, especially his earliest work, Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization, which he wrote before he became a Jnani.

Go to Satsang with teachers who teach the incarnate as well as the transcendent. Stay away from the deniers of Self, body, and world, and find teachers who are also healers and promote compassionate actions.

26 August 2014

I frequently post emails of Sangha members with permission, to give onlookers different points of view on the teachings and their effects. Here is another from Steve:
Sri Edji, Hope your days of fighting a cold are coming to an end. I think I see what you mean when you said its all like electronics. Last night I could see little lines of electricity ( coming out of nowhere). They are neutral and have no feeling or substance tied to them. But when they hit my preceptors that is when I (through past experience) place a value on them and then react accordingly as if the original event is occurring all over again.
All these 'bodies' on earth are not skin and bones at all but electrical pulses. Then when something happens in the world, these sensor systems react however they were programmed to act or respond. If this isn't the Matrix the movie I don't know what is.
The 'I AM' has trapped us here with the belief that we are 'real' but nothing could be further from the truth.
The only sanity is dropping all the veils, all the nonsense, all the thoughts and the mind so the True Witness is exposed. The Witness has no substance it is the Absolute which I am already.
My Third eye is vibrating so much that now my entire forehead is like a powerful magnet rotating and rotating throwing pulsating light into me.
I am much happier now spending a very large part of the day meditating on the I AM and taking it (like you said Edji) to the ROOT.
I am in Gratitude to you Swami Sri Edji - Love steve

Ed's Response:
Steve, from the point of view of the Absolute, the body and mind are not real--just the play of Consciousness. This is Nisargadatta's final teaching.
But, from the point of view of love, the Manifest Self, sentience and Shakti made aware by sentience, certainly is real, it is the Atman, man and God together.
The point I was making about electricity is that "we" do not experience the external world directly, but only construct a world from the input of our senses that are converted into electrical nerve impulses that are interpreted in the brain. If we had different sensors, the world would look and feel very different.  And these interpretations are used by Consciousness in the form of the Manifest Self to interact with and explore the world.
Part of what I am teachings is to open to wider sets of sense data and remove the blinders to other ways of seeing the world, for example, seeing auras and feel flowing magnetic and electrical energies.
When we do this we are opening a whole new world of potential for effecting change, self-protection, and healing others. The Manifest Self just loves to play with energies as they flow from and too the Self.  Those who like rest and Absolutes are not much interested in this world of bliss/energies/joy and exploration, and seek only peace and quiet.

24 August 2014


I have been fighting a cold for 4 days:  coughing, sneezing, headache, and stomach cramps.

In addition, I need a little ore time with Charley.

Sorry.  See you next week.

21 August 2014

Levels of false and "real" Self-Realizations

     There are so many people that claim to be awakened. So many.  But for most there has been no awakening at all, just an understanding they got from someone else, like Tony Parsons, Sailor Bob, Pundaji, Ben Massaro, Lisa Cairns, Balsekar, or many others.  

     The message of no self, no separate self, emptiness, presence or newness can be a message that you hear from someone else, or it can be an achievement earned after years of meditation and inward investigation.

       The former talk about no separate self and how that insight has changed them, but it is only book knowledge for them.

     When you receive the message of No-Self, or no separate self, because you have dwelled in the inner emptiness, the Void, for some years, and that Void has come alive with light, all objects in your reality appear hollow and unreal, and one day you have a Satori realizing Unity Consciousness without a separation into inner and outer awareness.  

     That is a real awakening because your awareness has expanded, and by expansion, has realized that Consciousness is not just a present awareness of external and internal objects embedded within an inner and outer emptiness, but that Form and Emptiness interpenetrate, and neither is real or unreal without the other.

     As a helpful aide, I recommend reading “Progressive Stages of Meditation on Emptiness” by Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rimpche.  This text could help you quicken your mediation depth.

     You see, the bevy of 20 and 30 year old teachers really have nothing but an insight into Non-Self and not its constant experience as a reality that is like a hologram. They are just ordinary people with a one-trick insight:  Just realize there is no Self, nothing is real. There is no Self to be realized or awakened, just dwell in your present experience.

    But this level of understanding has to be transcended. You have to realize yourself as the knower of both the known and unknown, the world, and the Unmanifest within which the world is created and destroyed.

       In this realization, you know that you are altogether beyond Consciousness.  Consciousness just comes to you and covers you, and thus creates the world until you have the Emptiness to see the hollowness of the world and Consciousness.

      You, who experiences Consciousness, recognizes that it is made from a different "material" than you.  You lie in a different dimension, so to speak, entirely separate from Consciousness which is only an illusion.

     These real awakenings are experiential first, and then become insight or knowledge.  The first stage of awakening outlined initially above, is not a real awakening, it is only grasped and internalized second-hand knowledge of  what the first awakening is really like.

     Lastly, there is a return to the body and world. One becomes awakened to one’s own inner energies experienced with one’s own body as a separate energy body, called the Subtle Body or Energy Body.  Within that body is the felt sense of ‘I Am’.  But you cannot become deeply aware of the  I Am until you have returned enough to the body to become a complete master of emotions and the Energy Body’s energies.

       This is called the path of the Saints.  This is the path Nisargadatta treaded before he became a Jnani and denied the reality of I Am.  This is the path of Tantra, Kashmir Shaivism, of bliss, joy, aliveness and overflowing energies.

      One cannot be called spiritually advanced unless they have walked both paths: Emptiness and the Absolute, and Love, Bliss, and Shakti.

      The only other teachers that I have read that explicitly suggests this is Jan Essman, who states one can have walked the path of the Saint first, or of Emptiness first, and Bernadette Roberts who was a saint first then a Jnani.  But one has to walk both to be truly advanced.

       Nisargadatta walked both: first the path of the Saint which he describes in his first book, “Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization,” and then the path of the Unmanifest of his later talks, crystalized in "Consciousness and the Absolute."  In his first book he talks of energies and the need to master them, attaining Krishna Consciousness, along with devotion to Krishna and his guru.  Later he talks about going beyond the manifest self which he considered an illusion.

        Bernadette Roberts too walked first the path of joy, bliss and the saint, and then of the disappearing of herself into emptiness, the Void without love and bliss.

       If a teacher only talks about everyday life, and not of inner things, like the vast inner emptiness, or the Light of Consciousness, or of a holographic universe, or of unending bliss and joy, of internal healing energies, and streams of colored prana within their bodies, they really are just teaching you about the first step towards Unity Consciousness through the disappearance of boundaries by seeing through concepts and stories.  But they cannot give that experience of awakening to you because they do not live it.  They are teachers of that which they do not know.

      You just have received second hand knowledge of your true inner life, which is no more than philosophy.

      I recommend you go with teachers who have spent a long, long time in one tradition and mastered it, like a confirmed Zen master, or Tibetan Lama, or a Shaivite master like Sw. Chetanananda, or Shinzen Young, a fellow monk from IBMC.  Otherwise you are just kind of foolish, falling for instant enlightenment teachings.

      The youngsters are popular because they are shallow, and tell people there is no need to struggle for years for awakening, because you are already awakened.

      Once, during one of Robert’s Satsangs, a fellow asked Robert, “Why should I follow you and meditate and practice Self-inquiry, if I don’t exist and everything is an illusion?”

      Robert responded, “Then wake yourself up now! Realize it now!”  The guy was still with Robert three years later when Robert left for Sedona.

    There are no ancient traditions that promise instant enlightenment, or 3-5 second enlightenment.  This is the disease of current Neo-Advaita, secondary to the massive number of people Papaji said were enlightened.  Ramesh Balsekar too fostered this misunderstanding by placing a very low bar of merely understanding Nisargadatta's Jnana teachings, and not focusing at all on self-inquiry, meditation, working with energies, love, surrender, and bliss.

      If you think the Self is an illusion, all practices are moot. And, if you think the Self is an illusion, you will never, ever, find it.

17 August 2014



Go to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com.

Sing in with the password:  edji

It will be asked for on two different screens

Please mute your audio.

SUBJECT:  The Self, Your Self, My Self.

When you first discover who you are, the experience blows your sox off.  Finally, after a lifetime of knowing nothing for certain, you suddenly know who and what you are, and it is not your body.  You are  that "electricity," that "energy," that "Life Force" and pure sentience at the center of your universe.

You are flowing energy and the Center of all.  You are pure knowledge, pure cognition, knowingness, bliss and ecstatic energies; the universe is lighted and experienced through you.


12 August 2014

Selflessness as Pathology

The inability to perceive a self within, either of the psychological or spiritual sort, is pathology, a severe limitation to understanding ourselves and the world around us.

Those who hold there is no separate self, or worse, No-Self at all, are caught in an ideology that extols the experience of emptiness or of total fieldness, unicity,  over human emotionality, morality, and empathy.  Without access to a total range of emotions, especially of loss, attached love, anger, jealousy, and fear, also miss the ability to feel complete, whole, actualized, and deeply empathic contact with other peoples' problems and pain.

The two most powerful men I have ever met, most influential on me, were Robert Adams and Carl Rogers.  Robert held that self was Consciousness.  He did not identify with anything human as self.  Robert was mostly  beyond the world, apparently untouched by it, and thus dwelling in the peacefulness of no-identification with it.

I only met Carl Rogers once while taking a workshop on person-centered psychotherapy in 1981 or 1982.  He was 80 years old at the time and had just lost his wife a half year before.

When he entered the room, it went instantly silent.  His presence was heavy, like a body/mind weighted down by 10,000 years of emotional experiences.   I felt that I was in the presence of the most powerful human being I had ever met.

His words were slow, measured, and each carried immense ‘weight’. I can’t really explain what  mean by that except his presence was so powerful  that is forced our attention to his every movement and word.

His words were always about the practicality of functioning as a human and psychotherapist within a context of human limitation.  

When he spoke of losing his wife, he very gently cried a few tears, and the entire room cried with him.  His groundedness in being human was so powerful that empathically he involved everyone in the room; he dragged us  all into the feeling of loss and perhaps a bit of despair at losing the love of his life.  There was a feel of sacredness in being in the presence of his depth.

While Robert was a giant in his own way of being a being that was no longer of this world, Rogers was equally a giant by being completely embedded in the world and centered in the fragility of humanity. What courage to be so deeply vulnerable some thought, but we knew he was not being courageous at all; this was his natural state.

This is what is needed for this period in Western human development: the ability to be emotionally vulnerable, completely open  to what the heart is speaking to us from moment to moment in the languages of emotional subtlety and complete empathy to the other.

If you follow those who claim there is no self, either of the human sort, or the divine sentience within, you will largely be lost without a compassionate compass, adrift in a world you cannot comprehend because you cannot feel the totality of truth being offered to you by emotions, intuition, love and empathy.

This is why I say the neo-Advaitins have entirely missed the point by claiming no Self of any kind, human or transcendental.  I strongly feel they never have felt a true sense of self, and find the no-self philosophies much agree with their experience which attracts multitudes of others who also do not feel a self within.

They really don’t feel the symphony of emotions playing so elegantly moment to moment that inform us about ourselves and the world, and establish an empathic bond with others so necessary to create a world (or family, or neighborhood) of peaceful cooperation.

Many complain to me how I have abandoned Advaita, have become myself broken, neurotic, or a cult leader who has lost his way by abandoning the goal of identification with the Absolute.  But I have been there.  From 1995 onward Robert acknowledged his type of awakening in me when I perceived that Consciousness itself was an illusion, and I, as the ultimate witness was entirely beyond Consciousness, experience, the phenomenal.

But years passed until I found myself to be human again in a most wonderous experience of Self-Realization, both as a human being, but also as the divinity within me of basic sentience aligned with the Life Force, Shakti.  This is what I teach now.

Don’t try to sublimate, process, or change emotions within, no matter how painful they are. Emotions are the heart’s way of perceiving the world along with the development of a non-verbal intelligence that directly perceives the world and our own depths within: God, Love, Joy, bliss, as well as sorrow, and loss.